Well Today was incredibly boring. So I'm just going to talk about how awesome yesterday was!!!! ^-^

    Yesterday started off normal, get dressed rush off to school. Tom wasn't there AGAIN but I lived. I slept through first period because the teacher basically gave us a "free day" So I drew for half of the period and the other half I slept, which was pretty cool. Second period we watched some movie called The Waterboy and it had Adam Sandler in it (whoever the fuck he is). xD



. . . I'll edit later. My moma is yelling at me. O.O

    But this is driving me insane. I feel like I've officially lost my big brother. He just hasn't told me that I've lost him yet. He's officially declared that he never wants to speak to Dylan ever again. How do I do this? How am I supposed to juggle between the love of my life and my big brother? Tom is the big brother that I never really had. Yeah, I do have an older brother, but he's just not... he's not the kind of big brother that would be there for me, but Tom has been. Don't even get me started on how Dylan has always been there for me, and how he's always by my side no matter how many times I screw up. I can't handle the tension between them anymore.

    Sorry every (any) one that reads this, but that's all I'm writing today. I need to go to bed/ be by myself.

    Today was pretty normal, I think....

    First period: Everyone except a select few have to take a retake on last weeks test, lucky me I'm one of the few. So I get to sit around tomorrow and finish homework that I should be doing right now.

    Second period: I have to turn in my homework packet no matter what so I can have an easy day on Friday. Hopefully I'll pass tomorrow's test too. Seeing as I'm the only moron that didn't know what the hell marijuana is, (I didn't know what it was other than it's a drug).

    Third period: I almost died trying to do all eighty curl-ups today. My stomach was hurting soo bad! Stupid teacher says "once you rest you finished" and I pretty gave up at 66, but the stupid teacher FORCED me to keep going. My stomach hurt until the middle of fifth period.

    Fourth period: Teacher lectures us on how she wants us to take our test tomorrow instead of Friday now. joy... I should really study for that...

    Lunch was retarded! I got sent to lunch detention AGAIN!!! What the hell man?! I've gone three times this week all for one stupid lunch detention I got on Monday! Whatever, at least Nate was finally here today. I got to bug him at lunch, but the stupid army people pulled Tom out of fourth period and lunch. I missed hanging out with God today because of that stupid detention bullshit.

    Fifth period: Chapter one and two vocab test, but she didn't get to me so I get to do that tomorrow.

    Sixth period: I actually felt pretty damn smart! We did a survival jeopardy type of thing, and I was the only one in my group that answered any questions, and everyone that I actually tried to answer, I got right! ^-^

After school my mom surprised me and actually came to pick me up because she called in "sick" to get the day off work. So yeah, we went to the grocery store and that was pretty much the highlight of my adventures. Except that my dark knight didn't call me today, that made me very sad for an hour. Then he FINALLY got online so that made me happy again.

I have to go now! bye bye everyone!

    Today was rather uneventful so today's post is pretty damn small.

    1st period: teacher got mad at class, and I almost threw up because the girl that sits next to me had been smoking in the morning and the smell was still on her so it made me sick.

    2nd period: Teacher was an asshole like always!!! He checked our stupid worksheet early.

    3rd period: push up test for grade, I failed epicly! I only did 17, and I had to be stupid Ashley's partner so that really sucked. It was kind of funny though because when she finished he big number of 14 she collapsed onto the floor and let out this huge sigh! which I found rather funny.

    4th period: I was late and got a detention. =P

    Lunch totally sucked!!! Apparently when I went to lunch detention yesterday they couldn't read my name so they made me serve it again today which was total bullshit! Oh well, not like i had anything better to do because stupid Tom, Nate AND Chris weren't at school today!

    5th period: we read Of Mice and Men.

    6th period: we went to the library to do some personality quiz that would help us find out future careers, and I got music video producer. Which I think is kind of cool in a way, but still pretty lame.

    After school I hung out with God in the library for a little while, then I went to credit recovery. At break I found God still at school and decided to bug her for a while. Then went back to class, finished that. Then I called my step-dad and he brought me home where I watched Charlie Brown's Christmas thingy, and waited for my dark knight to call. I gave up at 8:30 and went online and sure enough he sent me a message saying he was working from six until nine. Then at 9:12 I get a call from him saying he has to stay for another hour! So I didn't really get to talk to him today, so I feel kind of lonely right now.

    Over-all today was average and boring. See you later everyone!!!!! ^.~

    So today..... yeah it SUCKED! but it was still pretty awesome at the same time.

    Today started crappy, it was pouring rain and I didn't wake up until 7:49!!! Apparently my dad unplugged my alarm clock but he "fixed" it. Well This genius fixes it so the normal time shows but the actual alarm was still F****d up! So yeah, I got to school late and the vice-principals were just waiting to give people detentions! So I got stuck with a freaking lunch detention.
    First  period we had that stupid substitute that never shuts up about solar and wind energy, so that was pretty irritating.
    Second period was the usual boring overwork load of a drag.
    Third sucked because I forgot me p.e. clothes at home in my hurry to get to school. The teacher lectured me for a few minutes, then we did the height, weight, and sit and reach thingy. So apparently I grew half an inch! (-celebrates-) I'm as un-flexible as ever, and I've finally started to gain weight. I'm 106 lbs. now. ^-^
    Fourth period the teacher spent all most all of class getting mad at the idiot "cholos" in my class. So that was annoying, then I felt stupid because of the look my teacher gave me when I asked where I was supposed to go for lunch detention.
    So I go to the cafeteria at lunch for my stupid detention, and all I did was wait in a damn line to sign in and five minutes later they let us go. Talk about retarded! So that was a waste of lunch time. Then stupid Nate wasn't at school today, and I found out like an hour ago that he passed out in first period. So I feel like a total asshole for being mad at him!
    Fifth period... nothing. Sixth period.... my teacher played some really weird song about letting Nelson Mandela out of prison.

    So I call my mom after school to come and get me because I'm scared to walk home in the rain. I fear walking home in the rain or after the rain because all my life if I saw someone walking next to a big puddle I'd tell my parents (or who ever I was with) to drive through the puddle, so I'm terrified that karma will come after me. Well my mom tells me she's at a party so I have to wait. I reluctantly agree, and pull out my manga and start reading. Well a little bit before 4:00 God came out of credit recovery and saved me from my boredom! So we go to the little snack line thing, and God snuck me some snacks. These bastards get a snack mix and apple juice!!!! What the hell?! All we usually get is dumb apples if we're lucky! So then God kidnaps me and takes me to her credit recovery class, which just so happens to be my earth science class during first period. So I sit in there and help God with her project (damn, the devil isn't supposed to help people!) then my mom calls and says she's finally on her way to get me and should be there in ten minutes. Normally when my mom says ten minutes it usually means about twenty minutes, well for once it actually meant ten minutes. I ended up ditching God because my mom said she was going to leave me there if I wasn't there in five minutes. So I can leaving God behind. (I'm sorry btw)

    I get in the car, and instead of yelling at me my mom actually decides to go get sushi with me! It was awesome! We went in and I got Udon with crunchy rolls and shrimp tempura on the side  and hot green tea and my mom got the same but miso soup instead of shrimp. Then we got a side of Rice for Marcus. So we actually had "mother-daughter time" which made me really happy. I know I act like I hate my mom, but the truth is I just don't like the stuff she does every now and then, but over-all I have a pretty awesome mom. We went through some really hard times when I was little when she wasn't the best mom, but I can see that she has been trying her best to make that up to me. So I really appreciate it when we get to spend time together like that.

    I got home at about 7:30 and went through the usual, go online/wait for Dylan to call, talk to Dylan once he calls, then go back online and talk to Dylan via IM. Well my sister asked me what I would name a baby. I told her for a girl I'd name her Charlotte Serenity Karvelis, when my sister asked about a guy my only response was "um... well it would have my last name no matter what, and Dylan says he would want to name a boy Howl." This conversation inspired me to find a middle name for a baby boy, seeing as I choose the first name Charlotte and Dylan choose Serenity. Then I don't know how, or what but i was suddenly blasted by inspiration and ran to my cell to call my grandma. My grandma was VERY surprised to hear from me, and all I did was ask her what my grandpa's middle name was and then got off because I was on my cell phone. So now officially if I ever have a baby boy his name will be Howl Charles Karvelis. I'm still so hyper about it!!!! xD

    Yesterday was pretty damn boring. I don't know why or how, but I managed to sleep until 2:30 in the afternoon. I ran to the bathroom because I needed to take a shower for the Christmas party I was going to with my mom and everyone else. I get out of the shower at 3:10 and run back to my room to get dressed. Which in the end my outfit wasn't really that special, I was wearing a red silk shirt with my black vest over it and some black pants with a star-studded belt. Nothing too fancy but at the same time better that "everyday" wear. So we go, the entire universe was gawking at my baby brother, who was dresses up like a reindeer, so I understand why they were gawking so dang much. He was ADORABLE! I mean, how do you not love a kid the looks like the gerber baby dressed up as a reindeer? Everyone thought I was weird though because instead of gawking at all the little kids I spent most of the night with uncle Jared's new dog. His name s Champ and he's a golden retriever! Champ looks just like that puppy on the TV commercial. Unfortunately the food sucked though, just like it does every year. The beans smelled funky and gave uncle William really bad gas, the rice got cold really fast, and the beef tamales had absolutely NO flavor. It was like eating water! xP Granted I probably couldn't make them any better but still! They always look tasty every year but the end up tasting like nothing!
    So we got home at 8:45 with nothing to do. I was going to go on the computer but I decided not to in the end. I was really tired so decided to go to bed early. I get a call at 9:45 on my cell and what do you know, it's my precious dark knight. The only person I won't kill for waking me up. So he calls to tell me that he missed me and sorry he didn't call sooner but he was at his Nana's house, and that he couldn't wait to see me tomorrow (which was today btw) so yeah, after being angry for being woken up the totally cheered me up and I almost couldn't got back to sleep because I was so happy.

    So, on to today!
I woke up at 10:30 to a call from my dark knight. I picked up the phone and he almost immediately started hassling me to get ready because he wanted us to go out. So I go, get dressed, call my mom and ask for permission to go, do a few chores, and I leave to meet him on the railroad tracks between his house and mine.
    So I'm walking down the railroad tracks and I see him while he's still pretty far from me, but the moment he got reasonably close he ran all the way to me picked me up and twirled me around. I feel stupid because I actually started to get a little teary because I was so happy to see him.
    So then we go over to his house. At first we're just watching stupid comedy stand ups, like my new favorite comedian Jeff Dunham. After half an hour of that we get bored so we go sit on the couch and turn on the TV. I didn't say watch the TV because we weren't watching it, we were to busy just talking about stuff. Like how much we missed each other and how much we love each other and how he wants a big bath tub when we're married and have our own house for some reason, "Typical" stuff. xD  After a while I started to get really tired because I actually didn't sleep very well last night, so I curled up in his lap. Then this asshole picks me up and carries me to his bed and lays down next to me. My heart was racing SOO fast! I though he might want to DO something, but in the end he just laid down next to me and took a nap with me. I was still pretty nervous though when I woke up in his arms right next to him, but he just kissed me and told me good morning (even though it was 3:30 at this point). So in the end we just laid there for an hour or so just talking, it was so nice being able to just lay there in his arms and not have to worry about him doing something inappropriate.
    So at about 5:00 we went over to jack-in-the-box because that moron hadn't eaten all day, and I was actually starting to get hungry. So he got those taco they have , mozzarella sticks, and an eggnog shake. Then he started laughing at me because those stupid tacos burned my tongue. It's not my fault my mom never ate spicy food so I'm not used to it and even small things burn me. Then he forced me to try that damn eggnog shake, even though I've told him I hate eggnog, it turns out it actually wasn't too horrible. I actually kind of liked it... and it helped ease the burn. xD
     Then he walked me home, and it turns out they finally fixed the leaking sidewalk. Yeah, I forgot to mention but earlier this morning there was water leaking out of the cracks in the sidewalk of our next door neighbor's house. It was pretty trippy. So yeah, when we got there they had just finished, and were starting to pull out, and I could hear my dumb dogs barking at the workers all the way from down the street.
    We go into the house and my mom wasn't home yet so we sit down in the kitchen instead of the living room because I didn't want to bother Camilo. So we just sat there for twenty minutes until my mom got home, then Dylan started playing with Marcus, and it made me think... Dylan is going to be a great father one day. Unlike me, he actually knows how to take care of little kids.
   
He left about forty minutes later and I went onto the computer and started watching FullMetal Alchemist, and that's pretty much all I've been doing until now. So yeah. That's the tale of my weekend adventure. Talk to you guys later!!! <3

Dashing through the sand
with a bomb strapped to my back.
I have a nasty plan
for Christmas in Iraq.
I got through checkpoint A,
but not through checkpoint B.
That's when I got shot in the ass
by the US Military...

[it's not funny!]

Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
Mine blew up you see.
Where are all the virgins
that Bin Laden promised me?
Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
U.S. soldiers shot me dead.
The only thing that I have left
is this towel up on my head.

I used to be a man,
but every time I cough,
thanks to Uncle Sam,
my nuts keep falling off.
My bombing days are done.
I need to find some work.
Perhaps it would be much safer
as a convenient store night clerk.

Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
I think I got screwed.
Don't laugh at me because I'm dead
or I'll kill you...

I KILL YOUOUOU!

Go watch Achmed the Dead Terrorist "jingle bombs" those up there are the lyrics.


    Well today wasn't as stressful as all of my other days so far. I got my test back in first period and turns out I got an A. Second period wasn't a hell for once.

    Third period though... was AWESOME!!!!! Instead of running around or doing something stupid and boring for "fun" Friday, we were in the gym playing DDR!!! It was awesome!! I can't remember what song I did, but I was on beginner mode, and I got an A. I got the highest grade out of EVERYONE! yeah some people did it on light but they all got E's, so I think that's evens it out enough to say I got the best score. It was awesome! I wanted to do it again and play cartoon heroes on it, but when I went back with God, but my friend Tana was playing with her friend. God and I were going to wait, but the bell rang so we gave up.

    I was dreading fourth period because I forgot to do my homework (which I actually do remember to do it usually.) and we had a substitute!!! So I didn't have to worry about it. (Yes I did my homework once I got home) So all I did all period long was draw and talk. I love days when I don't have to do real work, especially in geometry.

    So at lunch I go to catch up with God like usual before I head over to my loser friends, and God's creation the phaleg (pig/whale) (jessica) was basically telling God, it's creator, to go away. So even as The Devil, I believed the phaleg's actions stupid and immature. Even though in the end I was pretty happy about it because I got to hang out with God ALL of lunch! Except for when I went to go get lunch because I was starving! I looked over at God's "holy" spot, to see the phaleg and the rainbow pig violating it. The pig looked at me in obvious disgust that I had taken it's god away from it, even if it was just for one lunch! So then Nate and I went to pull the greatest joke EVER on Tom!!! We were thinking about sending him a mistletoe gram, but we hadn't thought of any names to be his secret lover, when standing in the lunch line enjoying the pig's face I was inspired! I turned to Nate, my most disobedient loyal minion, and said "why don't we say it's from Donald?!" Why minion, instantly catching the humor and genius of my plan, decided it would be perfect! So we ran to the mistletoe gram booth and wrote from: donald, to: Tom. It was so hard not to laugh in the middle of literature club, where God made her hide out. xD  So yeah.. That's how my awesome lunch period went.

    Fifth I went in and read ahead far enough in "Of Mice and Men" so the teacher couldn't complain too much, and quickly switch to drawing. Sixth period was boring and uneventful. I was kind of irritated that we had to walk around the class room filling out a worksheet as we went, but oh well.

    After school was AWESOME! I quickly left school to meet up with my friend Alexis because we were going to stop by her house then drop me off at home. So I waved to Nate saying I'd tell him about it late and to tell Tom I wouldn't be at the after school spot. So I met up with Alexis and we went over to where her mom was parked. We got into the car and I quickly realized Alexis has a very laid-back and "chill" mom. xD So we got to her house and Alexis goes and gets this Gigantic box of prisma colored pencils!!!! I almost had a heart attack! There were over 100 prisma colored pencils laying there before me! Even the Devil must give in to her own temptation sometimes. So as I sat at the table coloring in my latest drawing Alexis sat in front of her piano and started playing "Brothers" from FMA!!!! It was amazing! She did it perfectly! I actually stopped drawing and turned my head just to gawk at her. It was like listening to a CD! Then she went and sang along too! Her voice fits the song perfectly, it was beautiful!! She was singing it in Russian and she pronounced every thing perfectly sang on key, and she played the piano all at the same time! I've never been so amazed/dazzeled in my life! I'm still jealous!

    So then I got home and hung out with my big sister for a while. Not much of a big deal.
xD

So that's how my first good day in over a week went. See you later everybody!!!!!!

^-^

    Go watch "it sucks to be me" it's some kind of avenue q thing. it's funny!!

    So anyways... yeah Day six of Tom v.s. Dylan. Talk about complete bullshit!!!! I can't handle this anymore! Every time I see Tom he doesn't say anything, but he always gives me this look. This look tells me almost everything I need to know! How Tom now thinks Dylan is a douche bag, and how as my big brother he thinks it would be best if I left Dylan, etc. Argh! I'm so stressed out over this conflict between the two of them that now, I can't even handle the minor stress of everyday life. Like how I have to go to the doctors January second to get a blood test, and again on the eighth for a check up. Then there's the everyday silent battle with my health teacher, so now he thinks he's won because I didn't say or do anything all period long! What ever the hell their problem still is they'd better fix it fast because I'm so over being caught in the middle of crap like this all the fucking time!!

btw I had this genius realization a day or so ago. I've been trying to do a parody type of thing on my friendship with Linda, kind of like how I call Dylan my Dark Knight now. Well my friend Linda was Always being called "God" last year, and this year my friends keep saying that I'm The Devil. Perfect parody! A God and The Devil Unite type of thing!! xD  Dang sadist god. lol

   Well I don't have much else to report/ I'm in a hurry to get off the computer before my mom gets home. So I'll make sure to post tomorrow no matter what. See ya!

    Argh!!! What the fuck? Don't you just hate it when someone acts like an asshole for no reason and you can't do a damn thing about it?! Well that's what just happened to me! My hobo step-dad left this morning without saying anything to me. The door to my room was open a little all he had to do was say my name and I would have been out the door and in the car, but no. This son of a bitch left me at home for no god damned reason what so ever!! He just left! It's not like I was waiting for the last minute to get ready! I was ready but my idiot dad didn't even bother to tell me we were leaving! and the best part is, this asshole didn't even leave me lunch money! So now I'm going to fucking starve on top of everything. So now I get to look forward to a 45 minute walk to school that will probably take me half an hour longer because I have three heavy text books with me! and now I can't find my stupid I.D. so the damn school will let me in.

Anyways... Sorry about not posting in such a long time. I've been caught up in the middle of sooo much drama lately!
    Last Tuesday was amazing!!!! After school I saw my precious Dark Knight (I've decided to call Dylan this when using romantic references now) He stopped by the school to give me a surprise visit. So he "escorted" me on my walk home. I got home, broke into my house (I lost my key like two weeks ago). After that I had to go to the bathroom really quick, but before I went Dylan asked if he could use the phone, I said sure go ahead (duh), so I came back out to see my love of all loves just sitting on the couch in the living room. So I pretty much run over to him and asked if he had to get going so he could go to work. Well apparently that phone call he made was to call the day off of work so he could spend the whole day with me!!! <33

    So yeah, aside from that this week flew by... until Friday that is. Friday was perfectly normal until I got home. Apparently Tom decided to get extremely pissed off at Dylan. Now Tom refuses to even acknowledge Dylan's existence! All of this is because the girl Tom likes like Dylan! Why the Fuck is MY boyfriend such a chick magnet!!!!! Well yeah, this slutty whore, Briana, tried to force herself on MY boyfriend, MY true love, MY reason for existence pretty much! And Tom goes and finds a way to some how blame Dylan for all of this!!!!!! What the fuck big brother?! Now I feel like if this keeps up (because Tom STILL won't talk to Dylan even though this started Friday!) I think in the end I might have to choose between the love of my life and my big brother. I don't want to choose between them even though I already know my decision. Obviously I would/will stay with Dylan no matter what, but it's still heartbreaking to think of the possibility of losing my big brother! I'm so sick of losing friends! I lost Ashley, who was actually pretty fun to hang out with, because she called me a slut and I don't need to deal with that bullshit! Then I lost Donald, who used to be one of my best friends, all because of a stupid rumor he started. I still don't understand why or HOW he could do something like that. Before hand he had always seemed so... above that kind of bullshit. Unless he honestly thought I was pregnant but he should have confronted me about it, instead of telling the entire universe a bullshit lie.

    Oh well. Wish me luck today guys, hopefully the rest of my Day won't be as crappy as my morning! Dx
p.s. I'll update later tonight.

[9:37]
    yep... Today totally SUCKED! My walk to and from school were bearable because I had my ipod to distract me. School itself was normal, until sixth period! Dx   My teacher made a new seating chart and that Fag donald sits right next to me! ugh! Whatever... I'll learn to deal with it.
   
    Asides from that, I got nowhere in my attempt to get Tom to talk to Dylan. T-T  and on top of that I only got to talk to my dark knight for five minutes! Dx   I miss him! I'm going to go draw some pictures of us together to help ease my loneliness. Today was sooo stressful. I have decided to name this stress, I shall call it "Christmas time Drama" because something horrible always happens to me around christmas time.

I hope tomorrow goes better than today did... wish me luck!

    Well today totally SUCKED!!!!! I had a horrible day! I was expecting to come home and have a somewhat decent day, but no. The universe won't work with me for even a day!!!!!! Though I guess all in all it wasn't really that bad, but what Dylan did was enough to ruin my day. I love him, but geez he can be dumb sometimes!
     Okay so my grandma drops me off at my house at about 11:50 so I go into my room, put away my stuff. When I walked out of my room my dad called me because he needed to tell me something. So my dad tells me that Dylan had come over, I asked when, Camilo said no more than twenty minutes ago. I run to the phone to call Dylan obviously, when my dad tells me not to bother. Of course, I ask why, and Camilo says because Dylan came by to say that he wasn't going to see me because he was going to visit his friend Christian. Normally I wouldn't be too upset, but I haven't been able to talk to that moron since Wednesday of last week, and of course he has to plan something else the day I get back!!!! What the hell is his problem?!! He is sooo freaking good at planning things at the wrong time, and it's not like he didn't know I was coming back! He obviously knew since he told my step-dad that he was going to see me. Normally this wouldn't be so bad. What makes it bad is the fact that he's done this once before!
I went to Sacramento for over a week last June and I call him the night I get back and I ask if I get to see him the next day (I missed him, my mom wouldn't even let me use her phone to call him the entire time) and this idiot says no because he promised to meet up with his friend Carlos. What the hell!! I told him I was going to be back on that day! You would figure that it would be the one day he wouldn't make plans! Honestly do I really mean that little to him? No, I know I'm important to him, but isn't seeing me after not talking to me for that long important? That jerk didn't even call me today! I finally got home, and of course I was expecting a decent day, and of course the universe gave me the usual slap in the face. I didn't even want a decent day, I just wanted to at least hear his voice again. I didn't even get that...

    Aside from that, today was dull and dreary with constant depression looming over me. Basically just like any other day that I don't have school.

    Big Bear wasn't all to exciting. I went off-roadding almost everyday, went with my dad to chop down trees for fire wood, the usual. Nothing exciting, crazy, or new that I can remember. Except my depression of being unable to call Dylan. So as of Tomorrow I will have officially gone six days without even hearing his voice. The best part about that is my dad was saying I was a bad girlfriend for not calling Dylan, but he's the asshole that wouldn't let me!!!!!!!
    -heavy sigh- Oh well, nothing to do now but wait for whatever hell tomorrow may bring. Good Night every one, I hope your day was better than mine.

    So far... This vacation has SUCKED!!!!!!

    Thanksgiving started out fairly nice. My mom was wearing a pretty dress and forced me into one, I did my make up. I was bored so I let my sister curl my hair as an early birthday present. So I went with my mom, step-dad, and two little brothers to my step-dad's mom's house. Which was fun, I like seeing my uncles again. My aunts on the other hand accidently made me feel like shit! I had on make up, and I was wearing a sparkley silver dress. Well almost every one of my aunts said something like "so... do you have a hot date tonight?" I almost cried every time I heard that!! No you sons of bitches I did not have a hot date! My boyfriend was working from eight a.m. until four p.m. so I didn't get to talk to him in the morning and since my grandma picked me up at about three I didn't get to talk to him later either!! And THEN because my dad has such a stick up his ass I don't get to talk to the love of my life for the entire time I'm up here!!!!! So, No, I did not have a hot date and will not for my entire vacation!!!!!! Ugh!!! I know thanksgiving was supposed to be about "giving thanks" but how can I when I have almost nothing to be grateful for!!! Well... that's not true at all, in this year I've gotten closer to my mom so we actually get along now, I've learned there's a point where people fuck up so much you don't forgive them anymore, I've learned to tell who are my real friends, my family isn't doing as bad as others in the middle of this economic crisit, and most of all I should be grateful that I was able to meet the love of my life this last year! But on that exact day, I didn't feel very grateful. I'm happy to visit my grandma, but I'm so sick of my dad!! Does he not remember what it was like to be a teenager in love! Oh wait he was to busy fucking up his life with drugs no wonder he doesn't fucking know!!!

    Well aside from the fact I'm in the middle of manic depression right now, I've actually been having some fun. Like today I went with my grandma to a little Christmas swapmeet type of thing. Then I went off-roadding with my dad and I got to drive, then my dad got bored so we decided to start going through a few of the mines that are safe up here. Holy damn is it dark inside of mines!!!!!! The stupid idiot turned off the flashlight to scare me, and I couldn't even see my hand a cenimeter from my face!!!! It was so damn dark in there!!! It freaked me out, but it was still pretty damn cool. I figured out that's where we get the whole "light at the end of the tunnel" saying. because it's so damn dark in mines, all you can see is the light at the end of the tunnel, and frankly I thought it was cool and all but I was SO happy to get out of there! xD

    I'm not going to say anything about yesterday because I was in such a bad mood over not being with Dylan that I didn't really appreciate any of it! I might talk about it tomorrow because I'm going to try to call him, and that will definitely calm me down if nothing else.

    I'm too tired to think today, so I'll write down anything interesting that happens that I remember so I can post tomorrow. (hopefully)  See you guys tomorrow!!! (hopefully)

     And the incantation to cast it, is of course "I Love You."

    Ah, the corny ness of it all. Well today started out very... early.    -_-#   My little brother woke me up at six thirty because I promised I would play mario party seven with him before his dad picked him up. Little did I know, his dad arranged to pick him up at eight o'clock. So yeah, I was playing mario party seven until eight.
    Then I tried to go back to bed only to have my Love call me an hour later. So I looked like shit in my current state, my hair was a war zone, I was still in his tee-shirt and my pajama pants, and I had really dark bags under my eyes. So this darling genius of mine tells me he's on his way over to my house! I almost screamed! That meant I had less than twenty minutes to change and look decent at the very least!
    So he gets to my house, I somehow managed to pull myself together enough that I think I looked decent if not cute, (He always thinks I'm adorable so his opinion doesn't count.)  and the first thing that asshole does is laugh at me for trying to look cute for him! He's soo mean, in such an adorably nice way! >.<  (That makes NO sense!)

    So after getting to my house at about ten, I go onto the computer to check my stuff then I let him check his. (My poor puppy doesn't have internet.) Then we decide to watch anime together, so I'm sitting on his lap in the little cramp corner of my living room where my computer sits. Man that must have been a sight to see. xD So then we get bored of that, so he goes and lays down on the couch, I run after him like I was his shadow and lay down on top of him. Then for some reason we started talking about our future, like we have so many times in the past. We started talking about what month we wanted to get married in, how old would I have to be for my parents to find it appropriate, what kind of color theme we should use (we decided on red), and other stuff like that. Well after going on and on like this for about an hour, wraps his arms around we holding me as close as he can and kisses me, that was no surprise he does it all the time so why should it be,the surprise was what he said next. "Promise me that you won't ever leave me." The words themselves were not a shock, but he was clinging to my like a lost child would to it's mother. And for the first time in my entire life I realized that this one special person who had always seemed so strong, so confident, was in reality as weak as I was and was terrified of losing me, just as I was terrified of losing him. "Only if you promise you'll never leave me either." After I said that almost all of his tension disappeared, he smiled at me and kissed me again. "As if I could. I've learned that in order to stay alive I essentially need four things: water, food, a pulse, and you." Yeah... I melted and turned into a total girl at the same time! xD

    So yeah, then Dylan had to leave at two thirty, which made me sad, but I had to go to the dentist in half an hour anyways. I was fine with going to the dentist, my dentist is actually pretty damn cool, and I know the people there. So my step-dad takes me to the dentist, I pick the movie I wanted to watch (I went with Pirates of the Caribbean), and they start on my teeth. Well I was about to get a shot so the area they were working on would go numb, but I flinched. I was peacefully watching my movie when I looked away at the wrong moment and saw them about to jab a needle in my mouth.  So yeah instead they gave me some I don't know what but it made my entire lower jaw numb!!
    After the dentist finished, I got up to look in the mirror and my lip looked like I was trying to do the whole "puppy eyes/bottom lip" trick. So I go to rinse out my mouth with mouth wash to discover I had no control over my bottom lip so I basically accidentally drooled the mouth wash back into the sink, instead of rinsing out my mouth. Then my loving step-dad felt bad for me so he went and got we sushi, which turns out I couldn't eat for an hour anyways because I was scared that I was going to bite through my lip! So I finally regained feeling in my lip and lower jaw, and enjoyed my sushi to the fullest!!!

    Well that all of the interesting/ things I can remember that happened today! <3  Look forward to my thanksgiving rant!!!!! I will throw in A LOT of complaints about my going to big bear because that's most likely where I'm going to be posting from.
    I'm not even gone yet, but I miss Dylan sooo much already!!!! He works from eight in the morning until four in the afternoon. What kind of bullshit if that! That means in order to talk to him tomorrow I'd have to wake up at six! I can't call him after work because my grandma is picking me up at two thirty!!!

    -sigh- I miss him...

b.t.w. (When I say "today" in this post, I actually mean yesterday)

    "Rhiannon I'm leaving! get your ass out of bed!" is what I woke up to this morning. I accidentally forgot to set my alarm last night, so I slept in and my step-dad was PISSED! So I tried to rush and get ready for school in ten minutes, and I think it worked out okay for me... except my hair that is. I took a shower last night and fell asleep while my hair was still wet so it was all poofy when I woke up. Normally I could fix this situation by taking ten minutes to straighten my hair. Well I only had ten minutes to be out the door today, and my hair tie was no where in sight! So I tried to straighten my hair in the little time available, that ended badly. It was better than if I had just left it though so I shouldn't really complain too much.

First period-drag
Second period-drag
Third period- Pretty fun, but nothing too special.

    Fourth period on the other hand, was awesome!!!! We had a test today and it turned out to be WAY super easy, so I'm pretty sure I did a good job on that. Then after the test the entire class went off to their friends and started talking amongst themselves. Well this kid sitting next to me asked me something about Twilight. As a passionate fan I felt compelled to answer, next thing I know I'm having a conversation with a good forth of the class about Twilight! Most people would say "so what?" but to me it was cool because I'm always that kid in class that sits there not talking to anyone, even when the teacher lets the class talk. It felt good to actually talk to people, and not be that "weird kid" in class that doesn't talk to anyone, possibly get some more friends while I'm at it too. This one kid even asked to see my drawing book and he had one too, so he let me see it. He is soo good at drawing!

    Then lunch time came around and I went to meet up with Linda like usual. I was a little disappointed that I didn't have any drawings for Linda today. I just couldn't think of anything today. >.<  I am kind of sad though because I spend so much time with Linda at lunch, then I go to my minions. I wish I could bring Linda into our group with out that little fag stalker of hers following her. I feel so bad that Linda has to deal with people actually going out of their way to get into her personal life. I don't see why though, I mean Linda is a totally awesome friend, but is she really stalk worthy? ( This has nothing to do with the way you look Linda.) It's honestly like, what the fuck dude? get a life! If she wants to tell you about her personal life she will, but if she doesn't want to then deal with it!

The rest of school, and credit recovery, flew by very boring and dull, nothing significant happened. Except that it took my mom an entire damn hour to pick me up from credit recovery! Dx
   
    That was all fixed within five minutes of when I got home though! I kid you not, I walk into my house, ditch my crap in my room, walk back out into the kitchen, look outside and Dylan was RIGHT THERE!! I almost screamed with excitement!!! I was expecting to wait for him to call me, then he'd take about half an hour to get to my house from his, but no! He got to my house right after me! <33 So I ran to open the door, and I kind of jumped on him, so he picked me up and twirled me around! It was sooo cute! So we went back inside my house because I was cold, and I sat him down on my couch and I ran to my room and came back out with the cookies I made him. He was so surprised, but he was happy that's all that matters. So we sat there cuddling on my couch for about half an hour when the stupid rain started pounding on the damn roof. I was able to ignore it though, I mean how could I not? I was in heaven! <3  I was so sad when he had to go home, but god knows that it takes us at LEAST half an hour to say good bye to each other. So we stood out there in the rain for a little more then half an hour. Soaking wet he suddenly grabs me by my knees, lifts me up into the air and kisses me!! It was the PERFECT story book scene! I think my heart skipped a beat just remembering it! <3

    So yeah... that's how my day went. I'd sat it was overall... AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!! (Mainly thanks to that last part of my day.) Well goodnight everyone! I know I'm going to sleep well tonight!! <33

    So today I woke up to have my dad knocking on my door saying I had to be ready in fifteen minutes, so of course I jumped out of my bed and got dressed, barely paying attention to what I was putting on too. So then I was about to rush out the door when I realized I didn't have my backpack. I started freaking out and screaming my lungs out, when I suddenly remembered that I left my backpack in Tom's car so he had it. I was not pleased.

    So I go to school, get my backpack, spend the morning bugging my big brother Tom. Then I move onto first period, and the first ten minutes of class were the usual drag but then Jenni walked in!! I was so happy to see her! She was absent all of last week because the week before that her grandma passed away. It was really rough on her so I was really worried. She ran up to me and gave me a hug, then she went on for what seemed like forever and a day about how her week was. I'm really glad to see that she's doing so much better than she was two weeks ago.

    Second period was the usual boring and irritating drag.
    Third period Ashley cam back so I felt like puking. Last week was so awesome! why did she have to come back NOW when we only have two days of school this week!!! grr.... oh well, I had fun running around in circles with Tana, Rigo, and Joey. We even managed to win the stupid game again! xD  Then I did the usual talking with Linda. I was sad because I didn't have a picture ready for her yet, but I thought of one in fourth period, and finished it in fifth period.

    Fourth period flew by, and Russel didn't bother me for once. I even managed to answer a couple of questions the teacher asked.

    Everything went down hill at lunch though. I was hanging out with Linda for a few minutes like I usually do at lunch (I took longer than usual today though), but when I finally went over to my group I got there to see Mr.Blair walking up to Chris and talking to him. Then Mr.Blair grabbed Chris's backpack and walked off towards the office with Chris right behind him. Tom explained that Chris was high and that it was really bad, so they went to Mr.Blair to get Chris some help. I was honestly scared for a while because I can't stand being anywhere near druggies, I don't think I'll ever be able to look at Chris the same way again, and honestly he'd better fix his act or I'm going to beat the shit out of him. I will stay true to my life motto no matter what, I will abandon any of my friends that start drugs, if I can't fix them.
    What really pissed me of though was this bitch Diana who kept saying Tom shouldn't have said anything. She kept calling Tom a bad friend because he went to try to get Chris some help. She said it's a friends job to keep their friends safe from trouble, she doesn't realize it's also a friends job to protect their friends from themselves. In short term, Tom not saying anything would have been better, but long term Tom did the right thing to help Chris. I  honestly think if she had a suicidal friend she'd just let them die; instead of getting them help so they can still be alive! What ever, that's the way she sees things and there's nothing I can do to change that.

    So after our lunch time drama, fifth and sixth period just flew by. Chris came by after school, he got help and he's okay now. I can't believe I was honestly worried about that dip shit!!!  >.<   So then I began my walk home. Dx  When I hear this honking noise after I've been walking for ten minutes. I look and across the street I see my aunt/old baby sitter! I ran across the street to go say hi. My cousins were in the car and everything. Then my aunt offers me a ride home so I totally tackled her in a hug! So she gave me a ride home, and I had to break in the house again because I lost my damn keys!!!!!!! >.<

    Then I was on the computer until eight when Dylan called me! <3  So it turns out I will see him tomorrow but not right after school. Then he said he was going to come and see me on Wednesday too!!! He said he wanted to spend as much time with me as he could before I had to go up to big bear. He's sooo sweet!!!! <33

    So yeah... that was my day today. Now I'm gonna go take a shower then "sleep" even though I'm actually going to read. xD
G'night every one!!!!!!! <3

    Well today was just an average every day, incredibly boring Sunday. Except that I made cookies!!! My mom sucks at baking, so she told me to bake them. And since I did most of my chores my mom was in a good when she got home, so we didn't get into a fight today! that makes me soo happy. I'm a little sad because I didn't get to talk to Dylan today, but the rest of my day was good.

    He called me at like... I say about one today. I only got to talk to him for twenty minutes which is obviously not enough time when you obsessively in love with someone! T-T    Oh well, he said he'd most likely come visit me on Tuesday! <3  I'm super excited about that because maybe he can scare off that idiot Russel. I love my puppy soooooo much!!!!! >w<   I'm a little sad that he said I had to go to credit recovery even if he came, but he said he'd wait for me. Talk about sweet!!! Who else would wait two hours for me to get out of a stupid class then spend time with me. Then again he wasn't to spend as much time with me as physically possible between now and Thursday.

    I'm so mad!!! I managed to screw up three really important days in a row!! I'm leaving to Big Bear Thanksgiving afternoon, then the next day, Friday, is my eight months with Dylan, and the next day, Saturday, is my big sister's birthday!!!!! Dx   I know my grandma and my dad want to spend time with me, but do they HAVE to pick the worst timing possible every time! grr... oh well, I can't do anything to change it so I might as well learn to live with it.

    Oh!!!! I forgot to mention that when I made cookies, I made a couple just for Dylan! I even found a cute little bag with a ribbon to but them in! My mom bought the cookie dough that has different colors, so you can make interesting shapes and stuff with them. I made Dylan a whole bunch of red hearts!!! >w<   I hope he likes them, I made sure they came out perfect and I slapped my little brother for trying to grab one. xD Then he cried to mom, and she was about to get mad at me but when I said they were "Dylan's cookies" she rolled her eyes at me and walked away. Then my idiot brother tried to sneak one again but I was standing right there watching him, so I smacked him with the fly swatter! xD  That made my mom really angry, but she sort of understood and told Brandon that if he didn't stay away from my cookies for Dylan either she was going to ground him from the wii or I was going to smack him again. (GO MOM!!!!!) So he finally decided that the cookies weren't worth it.

    Then an hour after this whole incident, I invited my little brother to make some cookies with me (since I finished making Dylan's). He instantly forgave me for smacking him twice after that. He's soo cute!!! After we made two batches together he hugged me and told me I was his favorite sister!! I almost strangled him in a hug after that. xD  I had to help him figure out how to work a cookie cutter though. He couldn't figure out how to make the damn things work even if his life depended on it. It was fun watching him though so that totally makes up for it.

    Dammit!!! Going to school tomorrow is going to be so awkward! Because I, being the genius I am, forgot my backpack in Tom's car on Friday!!!! So I didn't get to do my extra credit homework for geometry, I didn't get to play nintendogs all weekend, AND I didn't get to work on the stupid packet for health!!! Not much I can really do about it though, so I'm just going to have to get to school early tomorrow and call Tom at six a.m. and tell him to bring my backpack.

    Expect to hear a lot of ranting about how tomorrow went. I hope you look forward to it. <3

    So yeah, sorry about my extremely short post yesterday. My mom has decided I am now grounded for the rest of my life unless I do one chore a day. What the hell woman? Can she not at least tell me before she screams at me? I don't mind having to a chore a day to earn my computer privileges, but I just want her to inform me before she gets mad at me for going on the computer. OH well, I can't change what's been done, and my mom is even more stubborn than I am, so I already know to give up before anything starts.

    So then I call my dad like my mom told me to, and of course she HAD to tell him I failing geometry at the moment! As if that wasn't the worst of it my dad's plan to "fix my grade" was that I leave my other half! Friday night was probably the first time in my entire life that I have actually stood up to my father. My dad hasn't even given Dylan a chance, and if my dad wants to push me into a corner and make me choose between them then let him. He just better not be surprised when I pick Dylan. Oh well, I guess that's how ALL dads are, but mines just a little more... irritating than most.

Anyway today, well actually yesterday day now, was pretty cool. Dylan worked from eight until four but he came to visit me right afterwards so that made me really happy. I love it when we get to spend time together, (prepare yourselves for EPIC corny ness) we we're together I just.... I feel so whole. Like a part of me had been gone and always is gone whenever we're apart. -heavy sigh-  I really don't like how vulnerable I am whenever it comes to him. I always get so sensitive when people say things about him. Then again he does the same thing when people talk about me. Maybe that's part of what love is, but who knows?

School... was the usual boring disaster, like always. Except at lunch and after school, I was running around showing off how hyper I was about the Twilight thing. Which was awesome!!!!! Oh and I found this song by Carrie Underwood, and I totally love it! It feels kind of like my song right now. It's called Ever Ever After, and since I have nothing else to say I'm just going to post the lyrics.


"Ever Ever After"

Storybook endings, fairy tales coming true
Deep down inside we want to believe they still do
In our secretest heart, it's our favourite part of the story
Let's just admit we all want to make it too

Ever ever after
If we just don't get it our own way
Ever ever after
It may only be a wish away

Start a new fashion, wear your heart on your sleeve
Sometimes you reach what's real just by making believe
Unafraid, unashamed
There is joy to be claimed in this world
You even might wind up being glad to be you

Ever ever after
Though the world will tell you it's not smart

Ever ever after
The world can be yours if you let your heart
Believe in ever after

No wonder your heart feels it's flying
Your head feels it's spinning
Each happy ending's a brand new beginning
Let yourself be enchanted, you just might break through

To ever ever after
Forever could even start today
Ever ever after
Maybe it's just one wish away
Your ever ever after

(I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss)

Oh, for ever ever after

    Oh my freaking god!!!!! Twilight was sooo awesome!!! Obviously it did not live up to the standard of the book, but then again what movie does? Obviously they can't get everything right. They can't fit an entire day worth of reading into two and a half hours, it's impossible. Aside from the fact it was not a perfect replica of the book, I think the movie was pretty bad ass. I think I'm finally starting to get close to Amber too now, so that's another plus. The downside? Samantha was there, talk about shoot me now.

     Anyways, I'll continue to rant tomorrow or something. I'm tired and I have to go to bed and my mom won't stop bitching at me. I know she has every right too because she got a call saying I was failing geometry, but honestly woman take a chill pill! I know she has it rough right now, but does that mean she really has to take it out on me? Then she goes and tells my dad so god knows he's going A: lecture me, B: blame Dylan some how. My mom works hard and I respect her, but my dad is a stupid, good for nothing, lazy, forty six year old that still lives with his mom. Oh well, I can't choose my parents so I just have to deal with the retard father fate gave me.

    Like I said I shall continue my rant later. See ya! <3

    Hi there everybody!!! I decided  to make a live journal, mainly  out of boredom,  but otherwise just for the hell of it. So yeah... hopefully I will remember to keep track of this one because I've made one other one and forgot about it completely and entirely. Anyways onto how my day was.

    Today started like SHIT! My idiot dad woke me up at 5:00 even though we didn't leave until 7:00. Once I got to school I went to my locker and within two minutes Tom magically materializes, so that was pretty cool. So I went on to joke with Tom over small unimportant stuff, then Chris walked over to us and we soon switched to laughing at Chris for only god remembers what THIS time.

    First period was the usual uninteresting drag. I love the class itself because I like science, but my friend Tana is always complaining about the stupidest things that she causes for herself. I hate listening to her, and I always tell her that I don't care about her problems because she causes them, but she still tells me anyways!!!! Oh well, at least it gives me someone to talk to, I just wish she would shut the hell up when the teacher is talking because I actually want to listen. Jenni was absent again today, so I'm starting to get worried about her seeing as her grandma died last Thursday. I hope she hasn't done anything stupid...

    Second period was the usual boring drag, except that Mr.Julian didn't lecture the hell out of me for once! Thank god! I'm so sick of that douche bag! I wish that damn fire in Yoruba Linda burned his house down. It came within twenty feet of his house, but didn't get to burn any of it down! What the hell man? I guess it's actually a good thing though, because as much as I hate his guts, I wouldn't want him to loose EVERYTHING, just some stuff.

    Third period started out cool because I got to talk to Linda for a while before I actually went to Mrs.Poole's slave camp. I was kind of sad at first though because I didn't have a picture for Linda today like I usually do. Oh well, I think my last one was pretty good so that should hold her until tomorrow. Then stupid Mrs.Poole made us run for twelve minutes and then bitched at me for getting the lowest passing score possible. Whatever, I tried and that's all I care about.

    Fourth Period came and went like usual with Russel bugging me almost all period about how he finished Twilight. Honestly, Why would I care? I don't know if he's trying to impress me by reading the books I was totally obsessed with two weeks ago, or if he's just trying to be cool. Either way I'm annoyed with him now, for an hour a day. I could really care less otherwise.

    Lunch was freaking awesome!!! I got to my circle of minions and Nate was finally here today, but in crutches!!!! I couldn't stop laughing at him. Then of course being the bitch I am rounded up my minions and we went to the student store. Well on the way back to our tree, Tom and I spotted Michelle, so we decided to run over to the tree JUST to make fun of Nate in his crutches. I don't think Nate is going to forgive me for an entire week. Then again it's his own damn fault for being absent for the last two days.

    Fifth period, I fell asleep again, woke up, took that stupid grammar test, then the bell rang and I went and talked to Linda like I always do in between fifth and sixth period. I was having fun talking to Linda and I left for sixth period in my usual good mood until I here Jessica call out "Rhiannon, I want animal crossing back!" Which killed a slight portion of my good mood.

    Sixth period was awesome!!! We got to switch seats during Jeopardy, so I sat next to Michelle of course. We had so much fun, and the best part is that, that's all we did all period long, and my team won of course. (mainly because Brian was on our team, but that's not the point) It was kind of funny because Michelle asked me why Donald was always so emo, so since I don't care for him anymore I explained to her how the poor baby has a non-abusive alcoholic of a father and mom that loves the hell out of him. So yeah, Michelle freaked out because she said he heard me but I could honestly care less.

    Then after school I tried to master the art of walking with crutches... yeah... EPIC fail!!! I almost fell on my face four times! Once would be understandable, but four times?! Damn I am lame!!! Then I had to run to credit recovery because I was running late... again!   Dx    stupid credit recovery dragged on for what seemed like forever, and when it finally ended I was stranded at school for forty five afterwards.

    Then I get home and about ten minutes later Dylan calls me, which made me super happy until he said he had to go. He called me to say he wasn't going to be able to call me again before nine. So I was pretty bummed about that, but I'm happy that he was able to call me at all. I love how he can't stand going to sleep without telling me he loves me.

    Tomorrow is going to be AWESOME!!! I'm going to go see Twilight with my Honey, Tom, and Amber!!!!! It's going to be awesome. I'm definitely writing about it tomorrow! Not matter how late I get home, I am going to long onto Live Journal and write ALL about it! I won't say anything about the movie just in case anyone who actually reads this wants to see it, but I will talk all about my adventure! I can barely wait to see Twilight and complain about it's minuscule differences from the original book!!!